The pleasure of Dependency

Hey how do we do this?Is this the right way to do it?Oh please wait Im not sure I need to ask X
before I start..Well all these are some of the questions which is sweet music to a person who has
created a dependency.This reminds me of one of my collegue in my former employer who never shared her knowledge..her theory was simple I had a tough time to learn & all that I have gained is purely from my hardwork & how could you acquire the same with zero effort.This is one way by which people create dependency.The other way is "spoon feeding" people think they are making ones life easy by teaching them letter by letter or word by word.Thirdly people are not ready to give up their crown & throne to the next generation..
In most of the companies one of the performance metric is to have created a dependency which
actually implies to what extent people can count on you for help..this exists as long as you are
part of the project/company.But if you decide to move out either from the project/company it is
purely your duty to complete a sound knowledge transfer so that the next person who will be
replacing you has no qualms.But the problem here occurs when people want to leave the dependency impressions of themselves.They feel very proud when their ex-collegues call them up or mail them asking for help.Sometimes inevitably inspite of having delivered a sound KT help is seeked which is acceptable as long as the person who delivers KT does his/her job with no intention of having to create a dependency.Unfortunately not many think this way..be it in a corporate world or domestically..people enjoy the feeling of having created a dependency.
A family is bond by values,emotions,culture & tradition.Emotional dependency is very much
acceptable since as humans we get emotionally insecure & weak many a times & all we look for is a helping hand and soothing words of comfort.But what about other dependencies which makes you handicap of certain vital skills.I recollect the saying which says "Practise makes a person perfect" but when you dont have an oppoutunity to even try where does practise comes,here
1)Your losing your skills
2)Your losing your confidence level on the domain
3)You feel it is tough
4)You no longer want to think about it
5)You lose interest
6)Finally you give it up

I also recollect a saying which says "Oppoutunity does not knock ones door". Yes I agree one needs to go out seeking for it.In a corporate world you could escalate this issue & probably a poor
performance in an evaluation done post the KT will itself show the quality of knowledge
transfer.But domestically it is different because here emotions comes into picture..and its not
like in the corporate world where your attributes are measured aganist numbers.One of my friend claims to be proud of the fact that her sister who is in US on a short visit calls her everyday just to memorise a receipe.She takes pride in having created the dependency
where her sister needs her help even if he has to make chapatis.Having known the fact that there will be situations in the future where she cant cook for her..she should have trained her on how to cook independently.Instead she cooked everyday & enjoyed the compliments of being called the best sister & cook & she was never satisfied with it.What she should have done or said is..Well my dear sister I have had enough compliments of being a good cook & I now resign from it & want you to pick up the skills from me so that you dont suffer in the future or blame me for having spoilt you.On questioning her as to why dint she teach her atleast some basics she said I would finish all the cooking much before she would even get up from her bed.When asked why she did that she said I wanted to finish up with all my cooking as early as possible & I didnt wanted to trouble anyone.I partially appreciate her for being considerate but now she has made her sister handicap in her culinery skills which is actually giving her a hard time.So inspite of being the best sister & cook she has failed in her duties.Fortunately she is an open-minded girl who accepted the fact that yes she did create a dependency & made up her mind that she would also teach her husband basics of cooking :)
I just hope people realise the fact that yes I have lived enough & earned enough pride for my
goodness in every aspect of my portfolio & now let me help others in earning the same.It is better if someone utilises the knowlegde than it being lying in dust after ones existence.Just imagine if all our teachers or lectures had the same idealogy ... if they had always spoon
fed us .. never let us code anything we would have been in soup by now...or imagine a lecturer
who asks you to code & much before you even decide on the logic he gives you a hardcopy of the
code & says see this is how you do it & worse if he intrudes when you type every single line &
says no no this not how you do it n this is how you do it...Im sure anyone would be like DAMNNN
you do the coding youself & rest in peace & probably you would also slam the door & walk out...As Im composing this ultra-long post I hear this guy in my neighbouring cubicle who is talking to his team member who is on a vacation asking her word by word, step by step of minute details of his work...I remember seeing her always spoon feeding him & she has never let him debug all by himself ever..Phewwwww!!!