The actual ME!!

As I was drving to work this morning with my husband beside me.He asked me this question "How would you like it if we settle in US or be there for a while?" I said well in terms of savings not much as we are able to do the same here may be a lil more or less.But true it would be great to live in a place where the quality of life is good,traffic & lane discipline is awesome & ya if we plan to have kids in the near future we might as well make life easy for them if they want to pursue their higher studies in US.His next question was..how would you take it having to manage the house all by yourself ,prepare breakfast,lunch, dinner ofcourse yaa with my help? I answered saying well it will be a learning curve for me & I would learn from my mistakes & mature eventually..he smiled to this & I knew he was reminded of how he struggles to get me out of the bed every morning..He finally asked this question to which I pretended to give a smart answer but latter emotions gave me a jolt eventually..How would you take it not being able to see yours & my parents ? I replied "Well we have to move on with life as we grow & yeah if the need be it we have to adapt" ..I thought my husband was impressed with how I looked at life & at things practically...I knew what I had answered was not from my heart...there was silence for a while & then he said "Do you remember the night in our honeymoon,you cried because you missed your parents..do you remember the day when my mother had been out of station & you hugged me & cried saying that your missing your mil" I was rendered speechless now ....I still remember my husabnd tried every possible way to keep me comfortable & happy in our honeymoon to switzerland ,he never refused anything I wanted to buy or to eat or he actually never said "NO" to anything..we were in the best place on the earth ,no work,no tension,no deadlines no nothing but I missed my parents..& I just couldnt stop crying though San tried all possible way to console me.I felt better only after I called home & spoke to my parents. I also remember this day when my MIL was leaving to Kancheepuram for about 4 days & we hugged each other before she left & we said miss you to each other & I cried as I walked into the house feeling a huge vaccum.I missed the glass of milk that she would keep for me every morning & night. I missed our conversations after work. I missed everything about her. I realised how emotionally dependent I was on my loved ones. It really made me weak....We reached my office by then as all those days just flashed across my eyes making it damp.I then turned to my husband as I stopped the car & told him "I hope you wont let me go through the same bad days again,will you?!!" for which he smiled as I moved out & he said bye, take care ,have a good day ,I love you & moved to the driver's seat.. leaving me repeat my everyday dialogue..call me when you reach office,drive slowly,love you too...

Life as it appears

Life is all full of unplanned surprises.We hope for certain things to happen our way but when reality hits us its very different.I have been married for the past 8 months now.Im quite sure that situations and circumstances would affect even the most practical of dreams but then again I have never been a practical person.As any other girl I dreamt of marrying a person who would help me to cook,clean the house,arrange my wardrobe,put clothes in the washing machine,encourage me to drive,give me a good morning kiss & hug ,a good night kiss & hug... , a shoulder for me to rest ,someone who can read my face & understand whats running on my mind,someone who can correct me when Im wrong without humiliating,who is humourous,organised & planned .....
I thought marriage was about spending hours chatting & talking or not,but being bound together by invisible strings of our love entwined to make us one.I thought it was about every call to each other ending with "I Love you" & "I Love you too".I thought marriage meant that every moment of our life we would spend together-if not physically but emotionally , so that even when far apart we could sense each other close by...
And luckily it has been much more than that...
Yesterday San & I spent the day at home.Not doing anything interesting in particular but just relaxing.After sleeping in until almost the middle of the day we had our brunch & it was fun as we dried the clothes out of the washing machine.Sometime around evening we decided to cook. An omlette burger to be precise.And while it was not the hardest of the things to make it was a lot of fun as we tried to overfeed each other ;) I recollect this incident when San was multitasking in preparing chapatis for lunch & dosa for breakfast while I returned from my bath just to see myself fall in love with him again...This also reminds me of the nights while I pretend to sleep when he is busy with work & enjoy his warm kiss & gentle hug while he slips himself slowly under the quilt Im in ,as he hopes that he doesnt disturb me hehehehe!!.We do steal a lot of moments while my inlaws are away from our visibilty & land up giving a sheepish look when they appear from no where..its all fun!!!
I remember this incident where San was sitting in the hall talking to some relatives & I was in the next room where no one could see me nor could I see them but for San.I kept passing flying kisses to San everytime he looked into the room for me which was like once every 2 seconds & he was trying every possible way to control himself..little did i expect to see my mil right behind me..my husband noticed that & continued to smile as he nodded to the conversation leaving me feel embarassed to the core as my mil walked by smiling at me...
It happens everytime over dinner while San & I keep winking at each other assuming no one notices us & when my FIL pop-up with some question we look at him with a stupid smile..having realised he was talking to us all this while :D :D