As Im at my new job now doing up some reading while the major part of my brain is planning the menu for the evening that San & I are going to spend..I cant beleive that in a few more hours we all would be in 2009.Wow..really exciting time files faster than anything in this world...Here is a glimpse my 2008
1)Learnt to Drive got a DL too :)
2)Got a new job
3)Travelled out of India on a vacation..
4)Refused an onsite oppoutunity with no regrets
5)Learnt to drape a saree
6)Managed not to increase my weight :)...neither decrease :(
7)cleaned up my wardrobe 2 BIG times
8)Learnt to cook..to some extent..can manage even if my MIL is not around..
9)Bought more watches than clothes
10)Learnt to pay Literature..I owe this one to Praveen & Raji ;)
11)Saw more movies in the theater than at home
12)For the first time did road side-shopping at Malleshwaram,ate pizza for Rs.10
13)Fought terribly with a collegue..
14)Managed to keep my husband's temper cool even in his worst turn-off moments..
15)Accidentially dropped my cellphone in the thailand beach on our wedding anniversary:(
16)Trimmed my hair more no. of times than my nails.
17)Added more soft toys to our room.
18)Have gotten San to see more tamil movies than any other language
19)Met my close friend's daughter
20)Adviced my ex-mentor on the importance of living with in-laws..
21)Been to an orphanage & an oldage home..
22)Taught my maid's kids
23)Crashed the desktop at home..yeah yeahh the 64bit - Vista one..
24)Made new friends
25)Visited my dentist for filling
26)....
This is all I can recollect for now....I just hope 2009 is more peaceful & exciting to all of us..
wishing you all a very happy & prosperous 2009 :)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Twenty Guidelines for a happy married life
Below are some guidelines & lessons that I have practised & learnt out of my 1 year of married life..With the number of differences my husband & I own & living in a closely knit famly I wonder who has done the most compromises..The truth is that neither of us compromised on anything..We accepted each other , our goodness & our shortcomings & found that life is more beautiful than we expected it to be ..and life gets more & more beautiful with each new day & night...
No 1. It is better to remain quiet at times than to use unwise choice of words.
Im sure we all wished if life had a rewind button,we could go back in time..correct things & get back.unfortunately technology is yet to improve to that extent. The only way to solve this problem is to keep our big fat mouth shut & let things solve by itself or to open up when the heat has reduced.
No 2. Set your priorities right.
It is a blunt truth but we have to accept it.Once married your first priority & also your first point of contact for everything becomes your spouse.Your entire life revolves with the only goal of keeping him/her happy.Happiness is not about being happy its about making others happy is very apt atleast when it comes to your spouse.
But when situation demands you might have to juggle within your list of priorities but even then at the end of it make sure your spouse is happy with whatever you have decided.
No 3. Maintain your uniqueness.
Every individual is unique in their own way.We first need to identify,appreciate & celebrate our own uniqueness.Be proud of what you are.You may not be the best in everything but you will definitely be unique in certain aspects.Dont not give up your uniqueness.Command respect from it.
No 4. Learn to say NO .
This is a very tough one I agree,but if you can implement it life gets easier.You don’t have to get involved in unnecessary complications with just use the 1 simple 2 letter word . What matters the most here is the way you put it across..you may use a trillion sentences to convey the message or just the 1 word but make sure the message is conveyed to the right person at the right time & at the right scenario.
No 5. Your family comes first.
However good,caring,helpful blah blue may be the people around you..always remember that your family comes first.Please your family before your please others.At the end of the day its your family who will care for you more than the others.If you have an issue it’s a topic to gossip for others but a true problem for your family.Hence whatever said & done your family is of utmost importance & value to you than any other.Its good to be selfish atleast when it comes to your family.Its a bitter truth which is accepted & followed by many but behind closed doors.
No 6.Accept people the way they are.
There is nothing in the world as a IDEAL.Everyone have their own shortcomings.We must learn to help people overcome their shortcomings & take things with a pinch of salt.Life is a less complicated when you begin to accept than to compromise.
No 7.Change is good ,provided its for a good cause.
Change is inevitable .If a change in you is going to bring about goodness in and around you then you jolly well change than looking for reasons.
No 8.You cannot please everyone around you.
There are no two people in this world who have the similar likes & dislikes.Hence you need not satisfy everyone around you.If there is something well within your means ..go ahead..else it is just not worth it.Instead please yourself & your spouse.
No 9.Give the devil its due.
Everyone has a certain tolerance level.If things go beyond it no human can bear it.This is when your spouse needs to understand it & stand by you.
No 10.Respect others views.
As much as you would expect one to respect your views you need to understand & respect theirs.You don’t have to impose yours on them nor should they impose theirs on you.Everyone has the right to express what they feel ,it is very subjective to an individual & no one has any right to moderate it.
No 11.Stay in touch.
The only force that binds people to keep in touch is gratitude.True that certain oppourtunitists get in touch with you only at times of need but time will speak one day for such people who would actually regret.
No 12 .Try not to overdo things.
This is a very useful lesson & the I owe this to my good old fren Pranky.Often newly wedded brides or groom overdo certain deeds to please their in laws but as time flies it gets too stressful for them to live upto that expectation .This is when the rift slowly begins finally landing you & your spouse with bitter feelings for the rest of your life.
No 13 .Speak up if there is displeasure
If there is something which is not very pleasant to either your ears or eyes ,it would best to make your spouse aware of it at the right time.It makes no sense keeping it within yourself & brooding which eventually will develop into a burst of anger causing a bitter feeling between you & your spouse.Here your spouse needs to trust you because you obviously cant capture things in a video & produce as an evidence like in the movies.
No 14.Respect ones privacy & space
If a person does not wish to disclose something it means they don’t want to its as simple as that.Let them live that way ,don’t try to dominate or pressure them to spill out…its totally unethical.
No 15.Avoid talking ill of one behind their back.
It is totally unpractical for anyone to like / love everyone.There may be few people who may not fit in your kind of tempo or you do not feel the positive vibes when that person is around, but that does not mean you go around talking ill about them or backbite or mock at them in their absence or hate them.It is better to avoid such people & discussions about them with just a smile.
No 16.Avoid discussing your family problems with anyone outside the family.
Most issues occur in a family when people discuss their problems with everyone under the sun except for the one around whom the issues reolves.Once married any issue that arises should be discussed & sorted out between them than running around for help/advice from their respective parents & friends. People can only give you suggestions but its you who is going to bear the consequences so it is best to discuss the problem amongst themselves & make sure no family issues go out of the 4 walls.As mentioned ealier an issue is a topic of gossip for everyone but it’s a true problem only for the family members.
No 17.Maintain your identity
You are what you are.You don’t have to be someone else to please another.Just be yourself & life would be more than just perfect.
No 18.Call a spade a spade
Sometimes the way you convey things matters but at the sametime beating around the bush just complicates matters.Its better to be upfrount,staright & frank in calling a spade a spade.The magnitude or the intensity of a committed mistake should not increase or decrease based on your relationship with the person.I recollect this saying in tamil which translates to "If the mother-in-law breaks it, it is a mud pot. If the daughter-in-law breaks it, it is a golden pot."This is where ones needs to stand-up to be point-blank & straight.
No 19. Accept your mistake
People are bound to make mistakes & learn lessons out of them. It is anyday better to accept your mistake with a profound humble apology than actually finding excuses or a scapegoat or arguing over it. Every mistake you commit teaches you a wonderful new lesson for a life-time hence you need not be ashamed or feel guilty for it..instead learn & mature from it.
No 20.Dont let a 3rd person dictate your life
You & your spouse are the master / mistress of your life.Do not entertain any one else dicate .The other person may be your well-wisher or he/she may even be the fox but its your life & its solely in your hands to shape it the way you want it to be.
The list is actually never ending because with every new incident you encounter you learn a new lesson..Im sure I will come back with more newer guidelines & lessons sooner or later:)
No 1. It is better to remain quiet at times than to use unwise choice of words.
Im sure we all wished if life had a rewind button,we could go back in time..correct things & get back.unfortunately technology is yet to improve to that extent. The only way to solve this problem is to keep our big fat mouth shut & let things solve by itself or to open up when the heat has reduced.
No 2. Set your priorities right.
It is a blunt truth but we have to accept it.Once married your first priority & also your first point of contact for everything becomes your spouse.Your entire life revolves with the only goal of keeping him/her happy.Happiness is not about being happy its about making others happy is very apt atleast when it comes to your spouse.
But when situation demands you might have to juggle within your list of priorities but even then at the end of it make sure your spouse is happy with whatever you have decided.
No 3. Maintain your uniqueness.
Every individual is unique in their own way.We first need to identify,appreciate & celebrate our own uniqueness.Be proud of what you are.You may not be the best in everything but you will definitely be unique in certain aspects.Dont not give up your uniqueness.Command respect from it.
No 4. Learn to say NO .
This is a very tough one I agree,but if you can implement it life gets easier.You don’t have to get involved in unnecessary complications with just use the 1 simple 2 letter word . What matters the most here is the way you put it across..you may use a trillion sentences to convey the message or just the 1 word but make sure the message is conveyed to the right person at the right time & at the right scenario.
No 5. Your family comes first.
However good,caring,helpful blah blue may be the people around you..always remember that your family comes first.Please your family before your please others.At the end of the day its your family who will care for you more than the others.If you have an issue it’s a topic to gossip for others but a true problem for your family.Hence whatever said & done your family is of utmost importance & value to you than any other.Its good to be selfish atleast when it comes to your family.Its a bitter truth which is accepted & followed by many but behind closed doors.
No 6.Accept people the way they are.
There is nothing in the world as a IDEAL.Everyone have their own shortcomings.We must learn to help people overcome their shortcomings & take things with a pinch of salt.Life is a less complicated when you begin to accept than to compromise.
No 7.Change is good ,provided its for a good cause.
Change is inevitable .If a change in you is going to bring about goodness in and around you then you jolly well change than looking for reasons.
No 8.You cannot please everyone around you.
There are no two people in this world who have the similar likes & dislikes.Hence you need not satisfy everyone around you.If there is something well within your means ..go ahead..else it is just not worth it.Instead please yourself & your spouse.
No 9.Give the devil its due.
Everyone has a certain tolerance level.If things go beyond it no human can bear it.This is when your spouse needs to understand it & stand by you.
No 10.Respect others views.
As much as you would expect one to respect your views you need to understand & respect theirs.You don’t have to impose yours on them nor should they impose theirs on you.Everyone has the right to express what they feel ,it is very subjective to an individual & no one has any right to moderate it.
No 11.Stay in touch.
The only force that binds people to keep in touch is gratitude.True that certain oppourtunitists get in touch with you only at times of need but time will speak one day for such people who would actually regret.
No 12 .Try not to overdo things.
This is a very useful lesson & the I owe this to my good old fren Pranky.Often newly wedded brides or groom overdo certain deeds to please their in laws but as time flies it gets too stressful for them to live upto that expectation .This is when the rift slowly begins finally landing you & your spouse with bitter feelings for the rest of your life.
No 13 .Speak up if there is displeasure
If there is something which is not very pleasant to either your ears or eyes ,it would best to make your spouse aware of it at the right time.It makes no sense keeping it within yourself & brooding which eventually will develop into a burst of anger causing a bitter feeling between you & your spouse.Here your spouse needs to trust you because you obviously cant capture things in a video & produce as an evidence like in the movies.
No 14.Respect ones privacy & space
If a person does not wish to disclose something it means they don’t want to its as simple as that.Let them live that way ,don’t try to dominate or pressure them to spill out…its totally unethical.
No 15.Avoid talking ill of one behind their back.
It is totally unpractical for anyone to like / love everyone.There may be few people who may not fit in your kind of tempo or you do not feel the positive vibes when that person is around, but that does not mean you go around talking ill about them or backbite or mock at them in their absence or hate them.It is better to avoid such people & discussions about them with just a smile.
No 16.Avoid discussing your family problems with anyone outside the family.
Most issues occur in a family when people discuss their problems with everyone under the sun except for the one around whom the issues reolves.Once married any issue that arises should be discussed & sorted out between them than running around for help/advice from their respective parents & friends. People can only give you suggestions but its you who is going to bear the consequences so it is best to discuss the problem amongst themselves & make sure no family issues go out of the 4 walls.As mentioned ealier an issue is a topic of gossip for everyone but it’s a true problem only for the family members.
No 17.Maintain your identity
You are what you are.You don’t have to be someone else to please another.Just be yourself & life would be more than just perfect.
No 18.Call a spade a spade
Sometimes the way you convey things matters but at the sametime beating around the bush just complicates matters.Its better to be upfrount,staright & frank in calling a spade a spade.The magnitude or the intensity of a committed mistake should not increase or decrease based on your relationship with the person.I recollect this saying in tamil which translates to "If the mother-in-law breaks it, it is a mud pot. If the daughter-in-law breaks it, it is a golden pot."This is where ones needs to stand-up to be point-blank & straight.
No 19. Accept your mistake
People are bound to make mistakes & learn lessons out of them. It is anyday better to accept your mistake with a profound humble apology than actually finding excuses or a scapegoat or arguing over it. Every mistake you commit teaches you a wonderful new lesson for a life-time hence you need not be ashamed or feel guilty for it..instead learn & mature from it.
No 20.Dont let a 3rd person dictate your life
You & your spouse are the master / mistress of your life.Do not entertain any one else dicate .The other person may be your well-wisher or he/she may even be the fox but its your life & its solely in your hands to shape it the way you want it to be.
The list is actually never ending because with every new incident you encounter you learn a new lesson..Im sure I will come back with more newer guidelines & lessons sooner or later:)
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