Nothing can irritate you more than your husband waking you up saying "Get up...you need to prepare breakfast and lunch,your already late".Well this is how my day begun today!!To add on to it as we drove to work the traffic was a total mess worse than usual.. reached late for my meeting and saw people dispersing from the meeting room while I was panting for breath ..Opened mylaptop and the battery was completely drained out..Finally it boots and boom!! blue screen..I tried the 1st step of troubleshooting "Hard Restart"..it worked..good for me.Feeling extermely thirsty I went to the pantry to fill my water bottle..no water in any of those cans..Informed the admin incharge who advices to me to use the water from the coffee vending machine which is boiling hot.Argh!!!Totally frustrated started my work which added on to my existing irritation with all the last minute changes to be incorporated and no ready to work environments.It was just about the time for me to leave for lunch and I noticed this mail from my husband in my inbox.It was an old mail that he had replied to while we were in courtship.Its basically a questionaire that your dear ones fill it up with details about you...Below is the email and it made my day :)
-----Original Message-----
From: Sivanandam, Sanjeev
Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:06 PM
To: 'Subashini D'Subject: RE: reply
BE HONEST
1. My name:
Subashini D
2. Where did we meet?:
We met virtually on shaadi.com and inperson at Panchami :)
3. How long have you known me?:
6 months
4. How well do you know me (a lot, not so much, nothing)?:
A Lot
5. When you first saw me what was your first impression?
She was a cute girl and I wished that you'll accept me.
6. Mi birthday?: [compulsory field] 27th DEC 1982
7. Color Hair?: Black
8. Color eyes?: Black
9. Do you remember the first things I said to you when we first met?
Hi,Hello,blushing,Car Parking and above all remove my glasses
10. What ? s my fav type of music?:
Tamil and English Songs (Hot Ones with nice beats)
11.What ? s one of my fav things to do outdoors?:
Eat and Shop
12. Am I shy or outgoing?
Somewhat shy :)
13. Would you consider me a friend?:
More than that
14. Have you ever seen me cry? If yes, when?:
I havent seen u cry but I knew u cried several times.Your voice said that
15. If there were one good nickname for me, what would it be?
Cutiee
16.I had broccoli stuck on my teeth, would you tell me?
Yes
AM I ??? . ?!?!?!?
17. Quiet or loud?
Loud
18. Short or Tall:
Medium :)
19.Weird or original:
Weird
20. Smart or stupid?
Smart at times silly and stupid many a time
21. Boring or Fun?
Fun
22. Attractive or Unattractive?
Attractive
DO YOU THINK I'M... (yes or no, if u wanna say something extra say it)
23.A psycho?
NO
24.Athlethic?
NO
25. A nerd?
NO
26. Two-faced?
NO
27.Immature?
YES
28. Mature?
NO still to learn a lot
JUST A FEW MORE QUESTIONS
29. What is the worst thing about me?
Your possessiveness and silliness
30. When is my birthday?
Answered in Q6
31. Who is my best friend?
Santosh - in boys Rajini/Arthi/Priya/Praneta/Shamita/Jayshree ( I don't think u have one best friend as such) these girls are all ur good friends
32. What song(if any)reminds you of me?
DDLJ - Meri Kabo Mein too Aya
33. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?
Not really
34. If you could rename me, what would my name be?
Anjali S
35. A feature that you like about me as a person:
Your cute round chubby face and ur smile
36. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
My Happiness
37. If you could describe me in one word, what would it be?
Awesome
38. What word do I say all the time?
PODA
39. Is there anything you ? d like to say to me?
I Love u and Thanks for being a part of my life.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Random Thoughts that run across you!!
There are people who talk to you with sugar coated words ...they make you feel like your the best in whatever you do..but at the same time they are capable enough to switch gears and talk ill about you behind your back.I dont know if its for the same reason or what but I have learnt to be immune to compliments over a period of time. I really dont have to do things to impress someone or to prove my standards. I know what I am capable of and also of my shortcomings,Im happy with the way I am and I really dont need false praises to get work done out of me.
Sometimes you really dont know whats running on your mind but your so stressed out that you just pen down some random thoughts running in your mind.To be frank Im really exhausted...I have no words to explain how tired every cell in my body feels.The physical strain on me seems to be much more than the mental one. I think I need a break ,I need a day all for myself where I do nothing but just sleep or pamper myself.
The more you work the more is offloaded to you...and there is absolute no consideration or a waiver whatsoever for multitasking in trying to achieve a satiable amount of worklife balance.Another challenge is to deal with the stereotypes.They are so reluctant to change that they develop a sense of insecurity to adapt.My theory is simple,if you expect me to something let me do it in my way,dont expect me to change to your comfort.If you want me to change Im not in game,please do it your way and I have no qualms about it.
Btw Im extermely hungry now and have nothing to eat :(
Sometimes you really dont know whats running on your mind but your so stressed out that you just pen down some random thoughts running in your mind.To be frank Im really exhausted...I have no words to explain how tired every cell in my body feels.The physical strain on me seems to be much more than the mental one. I think I need a break ,I need a day all for myself where I do nothing but just sleep or pamper myself.
The more you work the more is offloaded to you...and there is absolute no consideration or a waiver whatsoever for multitasking in trying to achieve a satiable amount of worklife balance.Another challenge is to deal with the stereotypes.They are so reluctant to change that they develop a sense of insecurity to adapt.My theory is simple,if you expect me to something let me do it in my way,dont expect me to change to your comfort.If you want me to change Im not in game,please do it your way and I have no qualms about it.
Btw Im extermely hungry now and have nothing to eat :(
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Jab We All Met
I was walking back to my building after lunch and for some reason I was recollected about this most beautiful moment of my life...the 1st time San,his parents and relatives had come home to see me..I still remember the day like it happend just a few hours ago..San's mom called us & informed that they would come over to our place around 6pm,it was a Sunday evening a very beautiful evening..my most memorable one that I cherish till date..Usually the prospective grooms intentionally do not arrive on time just to build up their price & I hated it...I hated it more because my dad always insisted I drape a saree,put flowers and wear some gold jewels..so I had to put up an act of what Im actually not till the prospective groom and his folks left & now I had to stay in this attire and wait for them ...There were times when we would actually give up while the groom's parents would call up with a silly explaination about the bad traffic or not being able to locate our house...Admist such grooms ,San being called as the walking clock called up our home at 5.50pm at a location that will would take less than 10 mintutes to reach our home asking us to guide them the way to our home.My brother instantly reached the place in no time & gained all the attention and the good name by his humble ,friendly and emphathatic attitude.He managed to impress everyone in San's family including San accumulating pressure on me to be all the more the so called "good girl"..yeah right me and good :p contact San for more details....Anyways San and his family stepped into our house when the clock struck 6pm & I could actually see San's deep sense of satisfaction for having lived up to the name of being called a walking clock. While my parents greeted them ,a self introduction session had started while I had all the butterflies in the world flying inside my stomach.San was not the 1st first groom had I seen..I have seen several weird ones and smart ones too ;) hehe but still you when its the special one its always a little bit of overreaction and exaggeration...While I was in the kitchen nibbling on some snacks that was kept to be served for San and his family I was also listening to what they were talking..There were a lot of loud trumphets being blown about San in Dolby Stereo effect & I was like "Oh really..."Finally came the time when my dad said "Subha come" and I hoped I was deaf for a moment not to hear it or blind so that I dont see the way they stare at me from head to toe.Since San & I had already met near my office a few days ago I was saved from being in a saree or flowers or the extra jewels since I had told my dad that San does like such show off and he wants me appear like the way I am..and for once my dad heeded.I had no clue how I managed to walk from the kitchen to the hall all I remember was San was sitting at a position which was facing the kitchen door & he got to see me first & he pretended like he was seeing me for the first time..I remember my bro giggling as I sat with a huge thud on the sofa next to my mother-in-law and smiled at all.I realised that I forgot to say "Namaste" which I had rehearsed n times all day .So while everyones eyes were stuck on me with their smiles I abruptly said "Namaste" and gave a funny giggle at my brother who was laughing at me with his mute button on.Then started my FIL with his regular questions about schooling,college,engineering,blah blue...while the ladies were busy observing me from every angle I saw my San with a cheeky look listening to me talk ..What surprised me the most was once my FIL stopped firing questions at me, San started like as if he knew nothing about me..I said to myself..Gosh your such a good actor...I was like yeah right and answered his questions like I was answering them for the 1st time & patted myself saying "Im also a good actor". As my dad took a tour of everyone around the house San decided to sit and talk to me..this was when he was my San..took a hop skip and jump and landed sitting right next to me with his eyes at the duplex part of my house to ensure no on was peeping at us...Finally I had to literally push him to take a tour of the house along with others which he did reluctantly...Finally as they left San turned around saying "Bye Subashini" with a sweet glint in his eyes..thats it I knew he was my man for now and forever....
Sometimes my MIL and I talk about this day and she says what she liked about me the most was that I kept smiling throughout even though I was nervous...and what I liked the most about my MIL was she never asked me any questions but kept smiling not then nor now....
Sometimes my MIL and I talk about this day and she says what she liked about me the most was that I kept smiling throughout even though I was nervous...and what I liked the most about my MIL was she never asked me any questions but kept smiling not then nor now....
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Patience is the Key
Sometimes the decisions we take at our most impulsive state of mind lands up in a regret.However there are occations where as you endure you bear the fruit of it.The duration from the time you realise that you have taken a hasty decision till the time you either accept & endure OR till you call it a quit is pretty much disturbing which takes a toll on several faces of your life or even on your day to day activities...Sometimes your so preoccupied analysing if there is anything you could probably do make yourself feel better you tend to forget the most vital attributes of your life.You forget yourself & forget to cherish some beautiful moments.But if you could look back at your past & analyse that you have actually gone through similar phase earlier you feel a little better because your endurance was actually fruitful . What if I endure now hoping for my past to repeat & I land up nowhere??OR what with this current state of mind I take another decision which may turn out to be favourable or may land me into deeper shit..
There has been several beautiful moments that I have encountered in my life since my last post but for some reason or the other I was just not able to cherish it beyond a point because there is something nagging me constantly ... Im not sure where what went wrong..I was very happy when I took the decision..it was purely mine ..yet I dont know if Im actually regretting or if Im just hoping things would get solved over a period of time...Over a period of time...this is one term that Im unable to define....Im not sure if this is a phase to make me stronger or weaker....My conscious says "Patience is the key to this phase" ...I just hope the next time I login to blogger I have something good to post unlike this one .....
There has been several beautiful moments that I have encountered in my life since my last post but for some reason or the other I was just not able to cherish it beyond a point because there is something nagging me constantly ... Im not sure where what went wrong..I was very happy when I took the decision..it was purely mine ..yet I dont know if Im actually regretting or if Im just hoping things would get solved over a period of time...Over a period of time...this is one term that Im unable to define....Im not sure if this is a phase to make me stronger or weaker....My conscious says "Patience is the key to this phase" ...I just hope the next time I login to blogger I have something good to post unlike this one .....
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Bye Bye 2008
As Im at my new job now doing up some reading while the major part of my brain is planning the menu for the evening that San & I are going to spend..I cant beleive that in a few more hours we all would be in 2009.Wow..really exciting time files faster than anything in this world...Here is a glimpse my 2008
1)Learnt to Drive got a DL too :)
2)Got a new job
3)Travelled out of India on a vacation..
4)Refused an onsite oppoutunity with no regrets
5)Learnt to drape a saree
6)Managed not to increase my weight :)...neither decrease :(
7)cleaned up my wardrobe 2 BIG times
8)Learnt to cook..to some extent..can manage even if my MIL is not around..
9)Bought more watches than clothes
10)Learnt to pay Literature..I owe this one to Praveen & Raji ;)
11)Saw more movies in the theater than at home
12)For the first time did road side-shopping at Malleshwaram,ate pizza for Rs.10
13)Fought terribly with a collegue..
14)Managed to keep my husband's temper cool even in his worst turn-off moments..
15)Accidentially dropped my cellphone in the thailand beach on our wedding anniversary:(
16)Trimmed my hair more no. of times than my nails.
17)Added more soft toys to our room.
18)Have gotten San to see more tamil movies than any other language
19)Met my close friend's daughter
20)Adviced my ex-mentor on the importance of living with in-laws..
21)Been to an orphanage & an oldage home..
22)Taught my maid's kids
23)Crashed the desktop at home..yeah yeahh the 64bit - Vista one..
24)Made new friends
25)Visited my dentist for filling
26)....
This is all I can recollect for now....I just hope 2009 is more peaceful & exciting to all of us..
wishing you all a very happy & prosperous 2009 :)
1)Learnt to Drive got a DL too :)
2)Got a new job
3)Travelled out of India on a vacation..
4)Refused an onsite oppoutunity with no regrets
5)Learnt to drape a saree
6)Managed not to increase my weight :)...neither decrease :(
7)cleaned up my wardrobe 2 BIG times
8)Learnt to cook..to some extent..can manage even if my MIL is not around..
9)Bought more watches than clothes
10)Learnt to pay Literature..I owe this one to Praveen & Raji ;)
11)Saw more movies in the theater than at home
12)For the first time did road side-shopping at Malleshwaram,ate pizza for Rs.10
13)Fought terribly with a collegue..
14)Managed to keep my husband's temper cool even in his worst turn-off moments..
15)Accidentially dropped my cellphone in the thailand beach on our wedding anniversary:(
16)Trimmed my hair more no. of times than my nails.
17)Added more soft toys to our room.
18)Have gotten San to see more tamil movies than any other language
19)Met my close friend's daughter
20)Adviced my ex-mentor on the importance of living with in-laws..
21)Been to an orphanage & an oldage home..
22)Taught my maid's kids
23)Crashed the desktop at home..yeah yeahh the 64bit - Vista one..
24)Made new friends
25)Visited my dentist for filling
26)....
This is all I can recollect for now....I just hope 2009 is more peaceful & exciting to all of us..
wishing you all a very happy & prosperous 2009 :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Twenty Guidelines for a happy married life
Below are some guidelines & lessons that I have practised & learnt out of my 1 year of married life..With the number of differences my husband & I own & living in a closely knit famly I wonder who has done the most compromises..The truth is that neither of us compromised on anything..We accepted each other , our goodness & our shortcomings & found that life is more beautiful than we expected it to be ..and life gets more & more beautiful with each new day & night...
No 1. It is better to remain quiet at times than to use unwise choice of words.
Im sure we all wished if life had a rewind button,we could go back in time..correct things & get back.unfortunately technology is yet to improve to that extent. The only way to solve this problem is to keep our big fat mouth shut & let things solve by itself or to open up when the heat has reduced.
No 2. Set your priorities right.
It is a blunt truth but we have to accept it.Once married your first priority & also your first point of contact for everything becomes your spouse.Your entire life revolves with the only goal of keeping him/her happy.Happiness is not about being happy its about making others happy is very apt atleast when it comes to your spouse.
But when situation demands you might have to juggle within your list of priorities but even then at the end of it make sure your spouse is happy with whatever you have decided.
No 3. Maintain your uniqueness.
Every individual is unique in their own way.We first need to identify,appreciate & celebrate our own uniqueness.Be proud of what you are.You may not be the best in everything but you will definitely be unique in certain aspects.Dont not give up your uniqueness.Command respect from it.
No 4. Learn to say NO .
This is a very tough one I agree,but if you can implement it life gets easier.You don’t have to get involved in unnecessary complications with just use the 1 simple 2 letter word . What matters the most here is the way you put it across..you may use a trillion sentences to convey the message or just the 1 word but make sure the message is conveyed to the right person at the right time & at the right scenario.
No 5. Your family comes first.
However good,caring,helpful blah blue may be the people around you..always remember that your family comes first.Please your family before your please others.At the end of the day its your family who will care for you more than the others.If you have an issue it’s a topic to gossip for others but a true problem for your family.Hence whatever said & done your family is of utmost importance & value to you than any other.Its good to be selfish atleast when it comes to your family.Its a bitter truth which is accepted & followed by many but behind closed doors.
No 6.Accept people the way they are.
There is nothing in the world as a IDEAL.Everyone have their own shortcomings.We must learn to help people overcome their shortcomings & take things with a pinch of salt.Life is a less complicated when you begin to accept than to compromise.
No 7.Change is good ,provided its for a good cause.
Change is inevitable .If a change in you is going to bring about goodness in and around you then you jolly well change than looking for reasons.
No 8.You cannot please everyone around you.
There are no two people in this world who have the similar likes & dislikes.Hence you need not satisfy everyone around you.If there is something well within your means ..go ahead..else it is just not worth it.Instead please yourself & your spouse.
No 9.Give the devil its due.
Everyone has a certain tolerance level.If things go beyond it no human can bear it.This is when your spouse needs to understand it & stand by you.
No 10.Respect others views.
As much as you would expect one to respect your views you need to understand & respect theirs.You don’t have to impose yours on them nor should they impose theirs on you.Everyone has the right to express what they feel ,it is very subjective to an individual & no one has any right to moderate it.
No 11.Stay in touch.
The only force that binds people to keep in touch is gratitude.True that certain oppourtunitists get in touch with you only at times of need but time will speak one day for such people who would actually regret.
No 12 .Try not to overdo things.
This is a very useful lesson & the I owe this to my good old fren Pranky.Often newly wedded brides or groom overdo certain deeds to please their in laws but as time flies it gets too stressful for them to live upto that expectation .This is when the rift slowly begins finally landing you & your spouse with bitter feelings for the rest of your life.
No 13 .Speak up if there is displeasure
If there is something which is not very pleasant to either your ears or eyes ,it would best to make your spouse aware of it at the right time.It makes no sense keeping it within yourself & brooding which eventually will develop into a burst of anger causing a bitter feeling between you & your spouse.Here your spouse needs to trust you because you obviously cant capture things in a video & produce as an evidence like in the movies.
No 14.Respect ones privacy & space
If a person does not wish to disclose something it means they don’t want to its as simple as that.Let them live that way ,don’t try to dominate or pressure them to spill out…its totally unethical.
No 15.Avoid talking ill of one behind their back.
It is totally unpractical for anyone to like / love everyone.There may be few people who may not fit in your kind of tempo or you do not feel the positive vibes when that person is around, but that does not mean you go around talking ill about them or backbite or mock at them in their absence or hate them.It is better to avoid such people & discussions about them with just a smile.
No 16.Avoid discussing your family problems with anyone outside the family.
Most issues occur in a family when people discuss their problems with everyone under the sun except for the one around whom the issues reolves.Once married any issue that arises should be discussed & sorted out between them than running around for help/advice from their respective parents & friends. People can only give you suggestions but its you who is going to bear the consequences so it is best to discuss the problem amongst themselves & make sure no family issues go out of the 4 walls.As mentioned ealier an issue is a topic of gossip for everyone but it’s a true problem only for the family members.
No 17.Maintain your identity
You are what you are.You don’t have to be someone else to please another.Just be yourself & life would be more than just perfect.
No 18.Call a spade a spade
Sometimes the way you convey things matters but at the sametime beating around the bush just complicates matters.Its better to be upfrount,staright & frank in calling a spade a spade.The magnitude or the intensity of a committed mistake should not increase or decrease based on your relationship with the person.I recollect this saying in tamil which translates to "If the mother-in-law breaks it, it is a mud pot. If the daughter-in-law breaks it, it is a golden pot."This is where ones needs to stand-up to be point-blank & straight.
No 19. Accept your mistake
People are bound to make mistakes & learn lessons out of them. It is anyday better to accept your mistake with a profound humble apology than actually finding excuses or a scapegoat or arguing over it. Every mistake you commit teaches you a wonderful new lesson for a life-time hence you need not be ashamed or feel guilty for it..instead learn & mature from it.
No 20.Dont let a 3rd person dictate your life
You & your spouse are the master / mistress of your life.Do not entertain any one else dicate .The other person may be your well-wisher or he/she may even be the fox but its your life & its solely in your hands to shape it the way you want it to be.
The list is actually never ending because with every new incident you encounter you learn a new lesson..Im sure I will come back with more newer guidelines & lessons sooner or later:)
No 1. It is better to remain quiet at times than to use unwise choice of words.
Im sure we all wished if life had a rewind button,we could go back in time..correct things & get back.unfortunately technology is yet to improve to that extent. The only way to solve this problem is to keep our big fat mouth shut & let things solve by itself or to open up when the heat has reduced.
No 2. Set your priorities right.
It is a blunt truth but we have to accept it.Once married your first priority & also your first point of contact for everything becomes your spouse.Your entire life revolves with the only goal of keeping him/her happy.Happiness is not about being happy its about making others happy is very apt atleast when it comes to your spouse.
But when situation demands you might have to juggle within your list of priorities but even then at the end of it make sure your spouse is happy with whatever you have decided.
No 3. Maintain your uniqueness.
Every individual is unique in their own way.We first need to identify,appreciate & celebrate our own uniqueness.Be proud of what you are.You may not be the best in everything but you will definitely be unique in certain aspects.Dont not give up your uniqueness.Command respect from it.
No 4. Learn to say NO .
This is a very tough one I agree,but if you can implement it life gets easier.You don’t have to get involved in unnecessary complications with just use the 1 simple 2 letter word . What matters the most here is the way you put it across..you may use a trillion sentences to convey the message or just the 1 word but make sure the message is conveyed to the right person at the right time & at the right scenario.
No 5. Your family comes first.
However good,caring,helpful blah blue may be the people around you..always remember that your family comes first.Please your family before your please others.At the end of the day its your family who will care for you more than the others.If you have an issue it’s a topic to gossip for others but a true problem for your family.Hence whatever said & done your family is of utmost importance & value to you than any other.Its good to be selfish atleast when it comes to your family.Its a bitter truth which is accepted & followed by many but behind closed doors.
No 6.Accept people the way they are.
There is nothing in the world as a IDEAL.Everyone have their own shortcomings.We must learn to help people overcome their shortcomings & take things with a pinch of salt.Life is a less complicated when you begin to accept than to compromise.
No 7.Change is good ,provided its for a good cause.
Change is inevitable .If a change in you is going to bring about goodness in and around you then you jolly well change than looking for reasons.
No 8.You cannot please everyone around you.
There are no two people in this world who have the similar likes & dislikes.Hence you need not satisfy everyone around you.If there is something well within your means ..go ahead..else it is just not worth it.Instead please yourself & your spouse.
No 9.Give the devil its due.
Everyone has a certain tolerance level.If things go beyond it no human can bear it.This is when your spouse needs to understand it & stand by you.
No 10.Respect others views.
As much as you would expect one to respect your views you need to understand & respect theirs.You don’t have to impose yours on them nor should they impose theirs on you.Everyone has the right to express what they feel ,it is very subjective to an individual & no one has any right to moderate it.
No 11.Stay in touch.
The only force that binds people to keep in touch is gratitude.True that certain oppourtunitists get in touch with you only at times of need but time will speak one day for such people who would actually regret.
No 12 .Try not to overdo things.
This is a very useful lesson & the I owe this to my good old fren Pranky.Often newly wedded brides or groom overdo certain deeds to please their in laws but as time flies it gets too stressful for them to live upto that expectation .This is when the rift slowly begins finally landing you & your spouse with bitter feelings for the rest of your life.
No 13 .Speak up if there is displeasure
If there is something which is not very pleasant to either your ears or eyes ,it would best to make your spouse aware of it at the right time.It makes no sense keeping it within yourself & brooding which eventually will develop into a burst of anger causing a bitter feeling between you & your spouse.Here your spouse needs to trust you because you obviously cant capture things in a video & produce as an evidence like in the movies.
No 14.Respect ones privacy & space
If a person does not wish to disclose something it means they don’t want to its as simple as that.Let them live that way ,don’t try to dominate or pressure them to spill out…its totally unethical.
No 15.Avoid talking ill of one behind their back.
It is totally unpractical for anyone to like / love everyone.There may be few people who may not fit in your kind of tempo or you do not feel the positive vibes when that person is around, but that does not mean you go around talking ill about them or backbite or mock at them in their absence or hate them.It is better to avoid such people & discussions about them with just a smile.
No 16.Avoid discussing your family problems with anyone outside the family.
Most issues occur in a family when people discuss their problems with everyone under the sun except for the one around whom the issues reolves.Once married any issue that arises should be discussed & sorted out between them than running around for help/advice from their respective parents & friends. People can only give you suggestions but its you who is going to bear the consequences so it is best to discuss the problem amongst themselves & make sure no family issues go out of the 4 walls.As mentioned ealier an issue is a topic of gossip for everyone but it’s a true problem only for the family members.
No 17.Maintain your identity
You are what you are.You don’t have to be someone else to please another.Just be yourself & life would be more than just perfect.
No 18.Call a spade a spade
Sometimes the way you convey things matters but at the sametime beating around the bush just complicates matters.Its better to be upfrount,staright & frank in calling a spade a spade.The magnitude or the intensity of a committed mistake should not increase or decrease based on your relationship with the person.I recollect this saying in tamil which translates to "If the mother-in-law breaks it, it is a mud pot. If the daughter-in-law breaks it, it is a golden pot."This is where ones needs to stand-up to be point-blank & straight.
No 19. Accept your mistake
People are bound to make mistakes & learn lessons out of them. It is anyday better to accept your mistake with a profound humble apology than actually finding excuses or a scapegoat or arguing over it. Every mistake you commit teaches you a wonderful new lesson for a life-time hence you need not be ashamed or feel guilty for it..instead learn & mature from it.
No 20.Dont let a 3rd person dictate your life
You & your spouse are the master / mistress of your life.Do not entertain any one else dicate .The other person may be your well-wisher or he/she may even be the fox but its your life & its solely in your hands to shape it the way you want it to be.
The list is actually never ending because with every new incident you encounter you learn a new lesson..Im sure I will come back with more newer guidelines & lessons sooner or later:)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Beware of the fox around you!!
The world is dominated by teasers & cheeky people.They get to you to confuse you by using methods of meaness & by kindness.
Being mean to you in moment & suddenly changing roles & becoming nice they actually intensify your guilt feelings ,for being rude to them when they were mean to you.In that way you are made to beleive that you are wrong all along.And if you are an emotional person they wouldnt hesitate to even reveal their darkest of secrets to draw your symphathy..
But this is when you need a hard kick on your butt to realise that your in a corporate world surrounded by foxes.It is true that such people climb up the corporate ladder faster than the other sincere ones but the credit goes to their MBA..i mean the Master of Butter Application..
As the saying goes birds of the same feather flock together..I would alter it to say Donkeys with the same stupidity work togehter..If one does a mistake the other does a bigger one to coverup for the first one..
Some worthy guidelines to help one counteract with such foxes
1)If you are right,make sure you have the last laugh / word.
2)Save all email & chat conversations..even the most trivial of conversation may turn out to be your saving grace.
3)Do not hesitate to escalate if things get worse.
4)Avoid using "please" , "thankyou" , "hi" ,"regards" for such a foxes who are just not worth it.
5)Read your replies several times & make sure the evidence to prove yourself is 100% correct to snub the fox royally.
6)Do not commit or provide any specific deadlines..if you have to then let them be subjective or make sure that their are acheievable well within your means.
7)Do not overdo things.
8)Remember that at the end of the day she/he is just an animal in the wilderness & you have no guilt feelings for she/he deserves it.
9)Do not entertain phone calls or chats in personal messengers for they might try to use your kindness.
10)Always remember that she/he has exploited your goodness & they deserve nothing more than a royal cornering.
11)Never trust them ever again in the future for such people make very good double-edged swords & remember they are the wolf in sheep's clothing.
A human who does not have the attitude to gratitude is worse than a parasite!!!
Being mean to you in moment & suddenly changing roles & becoming nice they actually intensify your guilt feelings ,for being rude to them when they were mean to you.In that way you are made to beleive that you are wrong all along.And if you are an emotional person they wouldnt hesitate to even reveal their darkest of secrets to draw your symphathy..
But this is when you need a hard kick on your butt to realise that your in a corporate world surrounded by foxes.It is true that such people climb up the corporate ladder faster than the other sincere ones but the credit goes to their MBA..i mean the Master of Butter Application..
As the saying goes birds of the same feather flock together..I would alter it to say Donkeys with the same stupidity work togehter..If one does a mistake the other does a bigger one to coverup for the first one..
Some worthy guidelines to help one counteract with such foxes
1)If you are right,make sure you have the last laugh / word.
2)Save all email & chat conversations..even the most trivial of conversation may turn out to be your saving grace.
3)Do not hesitate to escalate if things get worse.
4)Avoid using "please" , "thankyou" , "hi" ,"regards" for such a foxes who are just not worth it.
5)Read your replies several times & make sure the evidence to prove yourself is 100% correct to snub the fox royally.
6)Do not commit or provide any specific deadlines..if you have to then let them be subjective or make sure that their are acheievable well within your means.
7)Do not overdo things.
8)Remember that at the end of the day she/he is just an animal in the wilderness & you have no guilt feelings for she/he deserves it.
9)Do not entertain phone calls or chats in personal messengers for they might try to use your kindness.
10)Always remember that she/he has exploited your goodness & they deserve nothing more than a royal cornering.
11)Never trust them ever again in the future for such people make very good double-edged swords & remember they are the wolf in sheep's clothing.
A human who does not have the attitude to gratitude is worse than a parasite!!!
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