Beware of the fox around you!!

The world is dominated by teasers & cheeky people.They get to you to confuse you by using methods of meaness & by kindness.
Being mean to you in moment & suddenly changing roles & becoming nice they actually intensify your guilt feelings ,for being rude to them when they were mean to you.In that way you are made to beleive that you are wrong all along.And if you are an emotional person they wouldnt hesitate to even reveal their darkest of secrets to draw your symphathy..
But this is when you need a hard kick on your butt to realise that your in a corporate world surrounded by foxes.It is true that such people climb up the corporate ladder faster than the other sincere ones but the credit goes to their MBA..i mean the Master of Butter Application..
As the saying goes birds of the same feather flock together..I would alter it to say Donkeys with the same stupidity work togehter..If one does a mistake the other does a bigger one to coverup for the first one..

Some worthy guidelines to help one counteract with such foxes
1)If you are right,make sure you have the last laugh / word.
2)Save all email & chat conversations..even the most trivial of conversation may turn out to be your saving grace.
3)Do not hesitate to escalate if things get worse.
4)Avoid using "please" , "thankyou" , "hi" ,"regards" for such a foxes who are just not worth it.
5)Read your replies several times & make sure the evidence to prove yourself is 100% correct to snub the fox royally.
6)Do not commit or provide any specific deadlines..if you have to then let them be subjective or make sure that their are acheievable well within your means.
7)Do not overdo things.
8)Remember that at the end of the day she/he is just an animal in the wilderness & you have no guilt feelings for she/he deserves it.
9)Do not entertain phone calls or chats in personal messengers for they might try to use your kindness.
10)Always remember that she/he has exploited your goodness & they deserve nothing more than a royal cornering.
11)Never trust them ever again in the future for such people make very good double-edged swords & remember they are the wolf in sheep's clothing.

A human who does not have the attitude to gratitude is worse than a parasite!!!

At work

Looks like Im offlate obessesed with blogging in respect to conversations..however here is one which I recollect at work...

X: Can you check this & mail it to me before 4pm
Y : Give me sometime

After a little while

x : Im still waiting
Y : Im busy will send it to you by 5pm
X : (For various reasons) No I cant wait till then please send it before 5pm
Y : (Loses temper ) Im not jobless here..I am doing a lot of work ..I have just 2 hands and Im not a ROBERT
X : (ROFL -rolling on the floor and laughing)... Its ROBOT my dear not ROBERT
Y : yeah whatever!!!

Update to my previous post

So I come up with an update to my previous post

My husband finally comes to pick me & Im all sheepish and embarassed wondering how am I actually going to tackle the situation..& then our conversation begins

My Cell rings

Me: Tell me Sanju..shall I come to the gate?
San : Yeah come to the gate..

I was at the door while I see the car in frount of the door & not the gate...I was all thrilled & with a big smile got into the car..

San : Come in darling (with a sweet glint in his eye)
Me : Im sorry Sanju..I have embarassed you once again...
San : Its ok...now tell me what did you give me when you met me at the airport when I returned from US.
Me:hmmmmmm you mean **ss..
San:No ..Im talking about the moment you met me..
Me:hmmm my dad gave you a bear hug
San:Noo..Im talking about you
Me:hmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm
San: Think think...
Me: Ahhh I gave you a single red rose which had a long stalk...
San : Yeahh correct...(Hands me over a similar..more beautiful ..red rose)
Me:Awww this is soooo cute of you....least expected..(It was only then I noticed that San was driving with just one hand ..holding the rose in the other)
San:Yeah...I felt bad for having scolded & grounded you....
Me:I told you Im sorry & my apology was very humble..
San:I stopped the car at this place & bought it all for you....
Me:Ohhh that soo sweet of you...
San:Yeahh you too careless & you need to work on it..
Me:Yeah..that because I depend on you for everything..
San:Noo that not good dear...
Me:WOW Im going to preserve this rose for a lifetime..........

Zoommmmmmmm off we speed off to our sweet home where the night turned out to be all the more special by Monica's (San's cousin sister) dance performance after a sumptous dinner or mutton biryani,prawns fry & fish curry......Im sure this dance performace of Moni is going to be a surprise to my dear BIL Praveen ..
@Praveen : Our next gettogether will be inaugrated with Moni's peformance followed by our usual Kuuthu hehehe :)

The day actually ended in a very memorable way.....& rose is in my cupboard where I keep my jewels...yeah its more precious than my jewels... :)

Mistakes do happen..but shouldnt I be learning from them??

Have you ever repeated a mistake ?? Especially when instructions are given to you like a parrot & you still commit the same mistake...Well Ive been a victim of this several times & trust me its the most embarassing situation..worst when it is something which involves your loved ones & emotions in it..Im into one right now ..repeating the same mistake in a timeframe of less than 48 hours & I dont know how Iam going to over come it..Well this day didnt end in a very pleasant way like it started atleast for this reason..There are a lot of uncertainities at work too & I hoping for the coming week to be more promising ..I still have a couple of more hours to call the day off..I just hope things get better once I reach home...My MIL has prepared prawns & I love sea food..so as I hope the dinner going to make me feel better my painful wisdom tooth just reminded me of the awful pain Im going through now...
Will making a note of the mistakes repeated in the past & looking at it every morning help me...OR just a profound humble apology will...I dont know Im totally confused ....WORDS just dont help when it comes to emotions...


Update : My husband just called me & told me that he forgot his lunch box at work..I need to confirm from my MIL if he has done the same in the past..so I dont have to repent for what I did today..hehehe..Atlast I see some light in this dark evening....Happy Weekend... :)

Conversations

Some unforgettable moments on my anniversary

Location : Pattaya,Royal Orchard
Scene : San being the early bird he is gets up earlier than me & is almost done with his bath.I manage to open my eyes to see the time which is around 8.00am & decide to walk out of the bed.
San comes out of the bathroom ,all fresh & with a clean shaved & happy face..Hugs me & wishes me happy anniversary while I snuggle into this broad hairy chest just hoping he would say..its ok sleep for another 1hour..

San : I washed my hair today..
Me : Ohh!! did you use the shampoo that was here
San : Yes..its smells very good & I used the moisturiser too
Me : Ohh!! Wow no wonder your skin is actually glowing...
San : (All confused)...my skin...I shaved & just used the after shave...
Me : Then where did you use the moisturiser
San : For my hair obviously..
Me: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
San : What what
Me : Moisuturiser is for the skin ..its conditioner for the hair..
San : (With all the sheepish look in the world) Ohh yaa I got confused...(Whining)
Me : ha ha ha ha ha ( A laughther of a life time)

Location : Coral Island,Pattaya
Scene : With my heart in my mouth everytime we changed boats till we reached the shore ,we got into the water to play...After sometime I decided to walk back to the shore to sit for a while in the shade..

San : Photo time sweetie!!!..go stand in the water I'll take some pics of you
Me : (With all Grins) yeahh go ahead

After about 5min I felt something irritating in my pocket..

Me : Oops my cellphone...
San : Shucks...give to me...God...i can actually squeeze the water out of the cellphone..looks like its dead
Me : (All whining)
San : Dont worry lets dry it in the sun for a while & see if it works.

We then had to sit down in the sun with my cellphone completely dismantled & dried it on my shoes..

San : Dont worry I'll buy you a new one when we go to Singapore..its just a few more days to go (cuddles me)..
Me : No..I dont want a new one..Im very emotionally attached to this phone..my brother's gift for my birthday..& how could I be so careless...(In tears)
San : (Gives a big bear hug)...We shall take it to any of the motorola workshop & try our best to fix it..if nothing works ..you may have to use another phone...
Me : Ohhh..I just hope it works...(whining again)
San : Ok now you please dont tell this to your parents or your brother or else you brother will buy you another one by this coming birthday.
Me : hmm ok will not let anyone know..

Once we reached bangalore..I told my in laws about what had happened to my cellphone & Im now using my husband's older phone..My parents came home last night to see me & we showed them our photos once my in laws were done with showing thier Europe tour pics.
As we came to the snap which was taken at the Coral Island where the miserable thing happened to my phone..my FIL said "Ohh Subha..so this is the place where your cell phone got spoilt." San & I were like Ohhh shucks….. Immediately my parents & bro were like "U dropped ur cellphone & lost it "..I felt embarassed & managed to say…the phone has fallen sick & needs to be treated its neither dead nor lost...

Common Conversations

Also here is something which is a very common scene when San I go to any restaurant to eat..San is extremely fast in whatever he does..& when it comes to eating he is ultra-fast.Many a times it turns out to be embarassing in marriage halls because my husband wipes out the banana leaf at the same speed at which the food is being served..leaving the person serving the food in total confusion ..but when the person notices me next to my husband with the entire menu on my leaf untouched with my talks going on & he would understand….

Scene : San & I order a meal & we are served at the sametime.I start talking from the time I see him & its still going on & on .Im not even 1% done with my food & San is actually waiting for the finger bowl.

San : Eat slowly..no hurry take your time.
Me : (Grin with a spoonful of food in my mouth,chewing every atom by atom..relishing every bit & then finally a big swallow & a gulp of water).. Ok so u know today this dame XXXX is so stupid….blah blah blah..& you know what...
San : Eat Eat
Me : OK (another spoonful in mouth) & you know this lady….blah blah..blah..
San : ohhh..Eat Eat Eat (looks at the wall clock in this wrist)
Me : blah blah blah
San : Eat fast Shubu
Me :OK (2 more spoons in mouth..longer time to chew)….blah blah..blah
San:Asks the waiter for the bill
Me :blah blah blah
San : Are you going to finish it or shall I feed you…
Me : I think Im too full to eat now..
San : You talk more than what you eat…
Me:Yeah right you eat faster than I talk...


This is also one conversation in my family that I recollect quite often & have a good laugh..

Scene : My husband & I were having breakfast in the dining hall on a Sunday morning & my FIL was watching TV & MIL was in the Pooja Room or the loo not to sure where was at the time.

San : What's for lunch today Shubu?
Me : Fish
San :What fish?
Me : Pomfret
San : Which on black or white?
Me : I don’t know ask Maami..
San's Dad : Its Black
San : Why didn’t you buy the white one?
San's Dad : We have never bought the white one..we always buy the black one
San : No no I have seen Mummy prepare white pomfrets several times what are you talking Daddy..ask Mummy if you want
Me : Controlling my laughing as I was admiring the clash of their egos..
San : Maaa Maaa…Mama..Mama come Mama
San's Mom : What ??why are you screaming?
San : Maa havent we bought White pomfret in the past…Daddy is saying we always buy Black Pomfert ..
San's Mom : Yeah we have been buying only the Tender or Real Good Chicken for quite a few years now…
San & Me : (Looked at each other paused for a moment burst out laughing at like MAD)
San's Mom : Hey why are you guys laughing ..share the joke with me too…let me also have a laugh
Me : Nothing Maami….nothing….
San : Maa what are we talking & what are you replying….. ( continues laughing)

The pleasure of Dependency

Hey how do we do this?Is this the right way to do it?Oh please wait Im not sure I need to ask X
before I start..Well all these are some of the questions which is sweet music to a person who has
created a dependency.This reminds me of one of my collegue in my former employer who never shared her knowledge..her theory was simple I had a tough time to learn & all that I have gained is purely from my hardwork & how could you acquire the same with zero effort.This is one way by which people create dependency.The other way is "spoon feeding" people think they are making ones life easy by teaching them letter by letter or word by word.Thirdly people are not ready to give up their crown & throne to the next generation..
In most of the companies one of the performance metric is to have created a dependency which
actually implies to what extent people can count on you for help..this exists as long as you are
part of the project/company.But if you decide to move out either from the project/company it is
purely your duty to complete a sound knowledge transfer so that the next person who will be
replacing you has no qualms.But the problem here occurs when people want to leave the dependency impressions of themselves.They feel very proud when their ex-collegues call them up or mail them asking for help.Sometimes inevitably inspite of having delivered a sound KT help is seeked which is acceptable as long as the person who delivers KT does his/her job with no intention of having to create a dependency.Unfortunately not many think this way..be it in a corporate world or domestically..people enjoy the feeling of having created a dependency.
A family is bond by values,emotions,culture & tradition.Emotional dependency is very much
acceptable since as humans we get emotionally insecure & weak many a times & all we look for is a helping hand and soothing words of comfort.But what about other dependencies which makes you handicap of certain vital skills.I recollect the saying which says "Practise makes a person perfect" but when you dont have an oppoutunity to even try where does practise comes,here
1)Your losing your skills
2)Your losing your confidence level on the domain
3)You feel it is tough
4)You no longer want to think about it
5)You lose interest
6)Finally you give it up

I also recollect a saying which says "Oppoutunity does not knock ones door". Yes I agree one needs to go out seeking for it.In a corporate world you could escalate this issue & probably a poor
performance in an evaluation done post the KT will itself show the quality of knowledge
transfer.But domestically it is different because here emotions comes into picture..and its not
like in the corporate world where your attributes are measured aganist numbers.One of my friend claims to be proud of the fact that her sister who is in US on a short visit calls her everyday just to memorise a receipe.She takes pride in having created the dependency
where her sister needs her help even if he has to make chapatis.Having known the fact that there will be situations in the future where she cant cook for her..she should have trained her on how to cook independently.Instead she cooked everyday & enjoyed the compliments of being called the best sister & cook & she was never satisfied with it.What she should have done or said is..Well my dear sister I have had enough compliments of being a good cook & I now resign from it & want you to pick up the skills from me so that you dont suffer in the future or blame me for having spoilt you.On questioning her as to why dint she teach her atleast some basics she said I would finish all the cooking much before she would even get up from her bed.When asked why she did that she said I wanted to finish up with all my cooking as early as possible & I didnt wanted to trouble anyone.I partially appreciate her for being considerate but now she has made her sister handicap in her culinery skills which is actually giving her a hard time.So inspite of being the best sister & cook she has failed in her duties.Fortunately she is an open-minded girl who accepted the fact that yes she did create a dependency & made up her mind that she would also teach her husband basics of cooking :)
I just hope people realise the fact that yes I have lived enough & earned enough pride for my
goodness in every aspect of my portfolio & now let me help others in earning the same.It is better if someone utilises the knowlegde than it being lying in dust after ones existence.Just imagine if all our teachers or lectures had the same idealogy ... if they had always spoon
fed us .. never let us code anything we would have been in soup by now...or imagine a lecturer
who asks you to code & much before you even decide on the logic he gives you a hardcopy of the
code & says see this is how you do it & worse if he intrudes when you type every single line &
says no no this not how you do it n this is how you do it...Im sure anyone would be like DAMNNN
you do the coding youself & rest in peace & probably you would also slam the door & walk out...As Im composing this ultra-long post I hear this guy in my neighbouring cubicle who is talking to his team member who is on a vacation asking her word by word, step by step of minute details of his work...I remember seeing her always spoon feeding him & she has never let him debug all by himself ever..Phewwwww!!!

Ive done it finally!!!

Ive done it finally!!!
Ever since I started driving to work with or without my husband beside me Im extermely cautious.I had never caused any bruise or dent to neither our car nor anybody elses except one incident where I almost touched my neighbour's car but nothing really really happened and my car stood just about 1mm from the neighbour's car...Anyway it was just another day of me taking the car out of the portico & park it right in frount of the gate & say "Sanju lets go its already 9.30 I have to be at 10 for my meeting" Ohh yeah Sanju is now slack on time..didnt know the my laziness can be so contagious..or may be is it that he does most the work for me & it gets late for him eventually....so now back to what happened that day..As usual I did my prayer before starting the car ,drove out of the portico but but but but God knows what made me think for a fraction of second that I took a complete right turn assuming I would be able to park it in an even better position.. .. result my car slightly touched the right side of the compound wall & leaving a long neat bruise...:( :(It doesnt look very evident though but yeahh noticeble & may be even the others too could notice it if they look with more intensity... My poor cute MIL was pacifying me saying all this is very common & there was nothing for me to feel bad..while my husband smiled at me & said there you go my child you've done it finally...This sentence of his took me to back to a week ago when my husband hit our Indigo Grand aganist the left side of our compound wall , not only causing a dent but also breaking the corners of the wall..About 2 days earlier than this incident of my husband's, my FIL got a bruise on the same Indigo Grand while driving very close to the road divider...I then told my husband "You drive for more than 15 years & your dad for more than 30 years & you guys still come back home with some dent in the car unlike me" .. I realised I casted eyes on my ownself :p ....And while I drove to work my husband said "Yeah we all make mistakes in judgement but that doesnt mean we are bad drivers"...hehe my husband now includes me in the list of good drivers after casuing a damage to the car...btw he rated me 8/10 for today's driving :)